Belief Systems and how they ‘Should’ Affect You

The dark walnut floors looked great in the showroom. The reality of living in the country with young kids – not so good. My hardwood goes from gleaming to grungy in under 60 seconds. It’s enough to make a grown woman cry.

And I did.

I also got angry.

And frustrated.

And perhaps yelled at a few select kids and husband.

I would beat my head against the wall – why couldn’t they see the importance, nay, the necessity! of having clean floors … all the time!

Of course, the reason why is simple. My family simply doesn’t share my sparkling clean floor belief system.

Ok, this seems pretty trivial. Right? Well it is, but it’s also very powerful. The stress reactions I had were real, and had real impacts on my health, enjoyment of my home, and how everyone else enjoyed it … or not.

Getting rid of that belief system (I love the BS acronym) was pretty easy, but what about bigger BS?

“I’m smart. I should be able to figure this out.”

“I’m an alcoholic. I should never have another drink.”

“I’m strong. I should be able to open this jar.”

“I have a learning disability. I should struggle at school and work.”

Belief systems are ideas you have about yourself that you believe to be true. Are you consciously aware of them? No. That’s the trouble with BS. They are so ingrained in your psyche, they are unconscious beliefs. Whenever you bump into something that challenges one of your BS, it causes stress.

Sometimes the stress is low-level and chronic, like my floors or people who annoy you (but you don’t know why). Sometimes it’s acute and explosive, like not living up to your ‘smart’ label. Everyone has triggers that makes them explode, or equally dangerous, implode.

We also have coping mechanisms to minimize the effects or to avoid the situations, but wouldn’t it be better to just lose the limiting belief system? Yes, all BS are limiting, even the so-call positive ones of smart or strong. Think – how much better could you be if you could admit you did not know it all?

“Should” is the key. As soon as you hear yourself say “I should know how to set up this Ikea dresser, I’m an engineer,” or “You should clean up your desk, you’ll be more productive,” you are applying a belief system to yourself, or worse, imposing your BS on others.

Once you discover a belief system, it’s time to clear it and free yourself of unnecessary stress. Try it – just by bringing it to your conscious awareness is often enough to clear the BS. The more stubborn ones? Well, BodyTalk is devoted to hunting down and eliminating the BS that no longer serves you.

My floors are probably just as clean (dirty!) as before, but now I don’t care about it. I’m free of the stress of living up to an imaginary ideal. I now simply enjoy my family enjoy our home.


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Posted in Belief System

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